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The PG Wodehouse Catechism of Cliché

December 11, 2018

I am an aficionado of PG Wodehouse, but there is no denying that he had a habit of recycling his favourite flippancies. Read too many of his books in quick succession and you are left feeling that you have gorged on a surfeit of clichés. But they are his own clichés; he made them up himself and nobody else uses them. With this in mind I have compiled a Wodehousian Catechism of Cliché (in homage to the great Myles na Gcopaleen):

When Fate is against a person, what section of clothing does it press against which part of the anatomy?

The sleeve against the windpipe

What are the odds of anything unlikely occurring?

A hundred to eight

In what casual manner are these decidedly specific odds unfailingly announced?

Call it a hundred to eight

When two persons part, where does one of them, exhibiting knowledge of William Shakespeare’s tragedy Julius Caesar, predict that they will meet again?

At Philippi

What is the indictable offence for which persons are most commonly fined or incarcerated?

Stealing a policeman’s helmet

When?

On Boat Race night

What is the second most common indictable offence?

Failure to abate a smoky chimney

Should you perform some self-indulgent activity ad libitum, you perform it to what point at which your optical organs exhibit which strange behaviour?

Until your eyes bubble

What requires to be avoided, usually by stopping a cheque?

Rannygazoo

To what comestible item is an unsatisfactory or unsavoury person to be compared?

A piece of cheese

When food and drink are in plentiful supply what are said to be good?

The browsing and sluicing

When a person dies, which item necessary to browsing and sluicing must be handed in?

The dinner pail

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One Comment
  1. Simon Carter permalink

    Two that appear more than once -The Assyrian who came down like a wolf upon the fold and from soup to nuts.
    Some favourite sentences:
    She made a sound rather like an elephant taking it’s foot out of a mud hole in a Burmese teak forest.
    He swerved around the room like an ebullient snipe.
    She had a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge.

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